Thursday, July 08, 2004

July 9th - Again - That was then......this is Dumb

Well....so here it goes....Im 16...i'm a sixteen year old girl...I'm about month away from being a junior in high school.....and here's the thing....i already have two...count them 2 guys who wanna spend the rest of their lives with me. Both are guys i love and care about. and both have their pros and cons......but im so confused as to which one....or if i should just play it off and see what happens.. But i know that one of them will end up hurt in the end.......i dont want to hurt anyone. I care about them both so much.......One is a 16 yr. old vamp/wiccan who doesnt know what he wants to do with his life, and though loves me alot - thinks with his dick alot - he plays off this im so lonely cuz i live far away thing- like im not feeling the same thing ....and then there is a 18 yr. old marine who has this military thing working for him but will be off and about with that posted God knows where, but he loves me more than anything else in the world

I just know this whole thing is gonna ruin somebody's life

But both are like not right here at the moment - so whoever i choose is likely to find someone around them they care about more - because this distance is getting hard.....this has been going on for SOOOOO LONG!!!!I don't know what to do....its been this way forever....i just need help....im just so hard up on advice.....My kimba helps alot....shes the best i wuv her...shes here for me and gives me all the advice int eh world and it helps........but if you got anything to say....some words of wisdom in my situation please email me at - mattdaddyhungwo@aol.com
thanks everybody....
im just losing it here....the drama....the complications....i need help.......please.....help.....

The Queen of Wonderland died at 9:31 PM

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THE QUEEN HAS SPOKEN
I AM THE QUEEN AND WHAT I SAY GOES! OBEY ME!! OBEY THE FIST!!! OBEY THE CUTE LITTLE FIST!!!!!
What's with my procrastination? and all this social isolation? It's happening again, this darkness is seeping in. Loneliness consumes me still, It's holding me against my will. I can't break free, it is no use. Can't stop Unintended self abuse. Abolish me, break my heart, tear my soul. Abolish me in this beautiful nowhere, just wanna die in your arms tonight. Make my dreams come true, so i have a reason to wake.
Favorite Band: The Birthday Massacre
Favorite Quote:I'm trying to eat, could you please stop pooping - Devi
Best Friends: I'm now accepting applications
Sex: was very good
Pets:Auryn my snake, Oz the cat, and Freckles aka Mr. Eff the cocker Spaniel
Located: Wonderland
Mood: forever in a state of Insanity

Loves: Chibi, Alice in wonderland,Jhonen Vasquez (he is God) and everything hes ever done, edward scissorhands, HP, LOTR, The Birthday Massacre, reading, drawing, writing,and talking on the phone, and killing people who make me sad with large rusty hooks....oh wait i probably shouldnt have said that one....
Hates: people who ditch their best friend of three years for no reason. stupid whores, and stupid guys who cheat on their caring loving girl friends, and stupid guys who cheat on their caring loving girlfriends with stupid whores in portapotties, cows....moo..., people who think their too good to hang out with people at school who they hang out with out of school, posers, lies, people, dogs ( oh wait mostly the same thing), and people who use others lying to get their way.
About the Piggy's and the Squirrels: Squirrels stole my acorns and chase me down the road. I misses my piggy....WHY MY PIGGY I LUVEDED YOU PIGGY I LUVEDED YOUU!!!!
About the Cupcake:What is better than a mini cake? really? im serious??? ANSWER ME!!!
About the Tuna: Tuna goooodddd......it comes in a can....mmmm....tuna..
THE BIRTHDAY MASSACRE