this pretty much tells how im feeling today:

"All I Really Want" by Alanis Morissette
Do I stress you out
My sweater is on backwards and inside out
And you say how appropriate
I don't want to dissect everything today
I don't mean to pick you apart you see
But I can't help it
There I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off
Slap me with a splintered ruler
And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already
If only I could hunt the hunter
And all I really want is some patience
A way to calm the angry voice
And all I really want is deliverance
Do I wear you out
You must wonder why I'm so relentless and all strung out
I'm consumed by the chill of solitary
I'm like Estella
I like to reel it in and then spit it out
I'm frustrated by your apathy
And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land
If only I could meet the Maker
And I am fascinated by the spiritual man
I am humbled by his humble nature
What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate
Someone else to catch this drift
And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred
Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute
Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while
The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses
Falling all around...all around
Why are you so petrified of silence
Here can you handle this?
Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines
Or when you think you're gonna die
Or did you long for the next distraction
And all I need know is intellectual intercourse
A soul to dig the hole much deeper
And I have no concept of time other than it is flying
If only I could kill the killer
All I really want is some peace mana
place to find a common ground
And all I really want is a wavelength
All I really want is some comfort
A way to get my hands untied
And all I really want is some justice...


and this is just some more stuff from her that for one reason or another strikes a cord somewhere in me:

"You Oughta Know"
I want you to know, that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother
Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you're still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her
Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, til you died
But you're still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know


"Forgiven"
You know how us Catholic girls can be
We make up for so much time a little too late
I never forgot it, confusing as it was
No fun with no guilt feelings
The sinners, the saviors, the loverless priests
I'll see you next Sunday
We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did
I sang Alleluia in the choir
I confessed my darkest deeds to an envious man
My brothers they never went blind for what they did
But I may as well have
In the name of the Father, the Skeptic and the Son
I had one more stupid question
We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did
What I learned I rejected but I believe again
I will suffer the consequence of this inquisition
If I jump in this fountain, will I be forgiven
We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did
We all had delusions in our head
We all had our minds made up for us
We had to believe in something
So we did


"Head Over Feet"
I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it
You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was
You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service
You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience
You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long
I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now
You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault


"Your House"
I went to your house
Walked up the stairs
I opened your door without ringing the bell
I walked down the hall
Into your room
Where I could smell you
And I shouldn't be here, without permission
I shouldn't be here
Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon
I took off my clothes
Put on your robe
I went through your drawers
And found your cologne
I went down to the den
I found your cd's
And I played your Jovi
And I shouldn't stay long, you might be home soon
I shouldn't stay long
Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon
I burned your incense
I ran a bath
And I noticed a letter that sat on your desk
It said "Hello love, I love you so love, meet me at midnight"
And no, it wasn't my writing
I'd better go soon
It wasn't my writing
So forgive me love
If I cry in your shower
So forgive me love
For the salt in your bed
So forgive me love
If I cry all afternoon


"Plastic"
You got a plastic name and a plastic heart
You can play the game or you'll never start
I'm talkin' to you
You got a plastic house and a plastic fence
Gotta look around or you'll lose your friends
Am I gettin' through?
You got a plastic girl in a plastic bed
And she's in your house made of gingerbread
And you're in there too
Got a plastic smile on a plastic face
But it's underneath that you can't erase
But what can you do-do-do?
Say Love-it's not that hard after all
(tell me what I want, what I wanna hear)
When everybody does
Say Love-it's gonna tear down the walls
(tell me what I want, what I wanna hear)
if everybody loves
You live in a plastic dream through a plastic card
But reality you don't disregard
You know that it's trueYou got a plastic goal in a plastic life
Gotta search your soul gotta make it right
And here's what you do-do-do
Wake up in the morin'
Some are not sleepin' tight
A matter you've been ignorin'
Why can't you just say it?
I Will not wait forever
Can't you see I'm right
I want you to endeavor
To tell me again and again!


"Walk Away"
A downtown cafe Saturday evenin' and the
place is about to be closed I'm meeting my baby
yeah and order my hundreath cup of coffee today
My hands are shakin'
At half past seven I'm sittin here waitin' for
my boy all alone for too long It's after eleven
yeah I'm tired of waitin' and I'm gonna go home
cause I don't need this
You never think twice before you break all the rules
you gotta be crazy if you think I'm a fool
[CHORUS:]I'll walk away and say good bye
If you don't want me anymore
I've got my pride
I'll walk away and say good bye
if I don't get the love we had before
not satisfied
He finally gets here I'm waitin' for him to ask me
why there's a frown on my face He orders a
cold beer he has an excuse about his car
breakin' down but I don't buy it
You're givin' me sometin' I don't need anymore
Just gimme the word and I'll be slammin' the door
[CHORUS]
His best intentians are never the same as what
he does of the end of the day. I'm feelin' the
tension yeah Don't gimme no reasons cause you
don't comprehend what am I feelin'
You never think twice before you break all the rules
You gotta be crazy if you think I'm a fool
You're givin' me somethin' I don't need anymore
Just gimme the word and I'll be slammin' the door
[CHORUS]
So tell me now Just say the word
It won't be long
I'll be long long gone...


"Can't Deny"
It's late at night and no one's around
And only my heart is making a sound
I lay awake alone in my bed
And I can't sleep should I call you instead
I think of you far too much 'cause you, you're one of a kind
I'm not like an open book
'cause I've got something in mind
[CHORUS:]
You know I can't deny the way I feel inside
I won't be hiding my love
You know I can't disguise you're always on my mind
And now I can't get enough
Give me love, I know that you can
I like the strength of a confident man
It's in my blood and all through my veins
You feel it once and you're never the same
Whenever I close my eyes you're there. I feel it inside
But why am I holding in my love, I can't tell you why
[CHORUS]
I think of you far too much 'cause you, you're one of a kind
I'm not like an open book
'cause I've got something in mind
You know I , you know I, I can't deny
Every day you're always on my mind
You know I , you know I, I can't disguise
Can't deny the way I feel inside
[CHORUS]


"So Unsexy"
Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly
One small sideways look and I feel so ungood
Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make
Me feel the way I thought only my father could
Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me
One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked
How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily
I'm 13 again am I 13 for good?
I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind
Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me
One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated
Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me
Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated
When will you stop leaving baby?
When will I stop deserting baby?
When will I start staying with myself?
Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me
I jump my ship as I take it personally
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me


The Queen of Wonderland died at 1:12 AM

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