Tuesday, July 27, 2004

February 22nd-u were everything that i wanted we were meant 2 b supposed 2 b but we lost it all this time u wre pretending so much for my happy ending

yeh well looky here a month has gone by. and my life has gone to hell once more. for good this time i guess. well im sure life will be less shitty at some point. But tim has once again left me. once again broke my heart. once again broke the promise that hed stay. once again broke the promise that everything would be ok. once again broke the promise of a happy ending - all for good he says - or until we're in college and we still want US. oh well wtf ever im so pissed off. do you know how it feels to be sitting in a class full of people who never ever noticed you were in there, and then when you begin to cry they all turn around and come over to you and ask whats wrong an if ur ok. random ass people stopping you in the hall way to make sure ur fine. it sucks " my heart has been ripped out stepped on and smooshed away but one of the largest things that made my life unshitty, but other than that im peachy really" to explain the extent of this: the teacher that hates me most risked his job to give me advil, i bought an entire box of Girl Scout cookies, drank 8 dr peppers just by now, cried through 2 classes, and broke things in the others, i also made a parody to one of me and tims songs look at us now... here it is:

Look at us now ( heathers remix)
For all the times that we,thought we’d ever be,
You Fucked us baby,You Fucked us now,
For everyday that I, I had you by my side,
thought we made it baby,But You Fucked us now,
Though every night I prayed,I knew you wouldn’t stay,
You Fucked us baby,You Fucked us now,
Remembering the times that we made love so fine,
thought we made it baby,You Fucked us now,
Baby You Fucked us,
Everybody believed we would never be,
They were right, what the fuck,We were so in love,
" all’s ok in your arms",Baby I was wrong
our love was strong but You Fucked up now,
For all the times that we,thought we’d ever be,
You Fucked us baby,You Fucked us now,
For everyday that I, I had you by my side,
thought we made it baby,But You Fucked us now,
Though every night I prayed,I knew you wouldn’t stay,
You Fucked us baby,You Fucked us now,
Remembering the times that we made love so fine,
thought we made it baby,You Fucked us now,
Baby You Fucked us,Baby You Fucked us,
Baby You Fucked us,Baby You Fucked us.
Everybody believed we would never be,
They were right, what the fuck,We were so in love,
" all’s ok in your arms",Baby I was wrong
our love was strong But You Fucked up now,
I guess it was a dream, together you and me
You Fucked us, baby. You Fucked us now
through all the hurt and gloom, I feel impending Doom
thought we’d make it, baby. But You fucked up now
For everyone who believed that we could never be
You Fucked us baby. You Fucked us now
Now you have upped and gone, I knew it all along
thought we made it, baby. But you fucked up now
Baby you fucked us...Baby you fucked us...
Baby you fucked us...Baby you fucked us...
Baby you fucked us...Guess it was just a dream...
Baby you fucked us...Guess it was just a dream...
Baby you fucked us...Guess it was just a dream...
Baby you fucked us...Guess it was just a dream (dream, dream, dream)
I guess it was just a dream, one I was foolish to believe
You fucked us, baby. You fucked us now
How did you let it die, our love was worth the fight
would’ve made it, baby. But you fucked up now
through all you ever do, I’ll be there for you
though you fucked up, baby. You fucked us now
The story of a guy who gave up and let love die
Could’ve made it, baby. But you fucked us now
Baby You fucked us...

No im not bitter at all, why do you ask. Just so yall out there know - i do not regret what i had with tim, or the time we spent together - only that i did not try hard enough to pick my battles wisely or make him need to stay....

The Queen of Wonderland died at 1:19 AM

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THE QUEEN HAS SPOKEN
I AM THE QUEEN AND WHAT I SAY GOES! OBEY ME!! OBEY THE FIST!!! OBEY THE CUTE LITTLE FIST!!!!!
What's with my procrastination? and all this social isolation? It's happening again, this darkness is seeping in. Loneliness consumes me still, It's holding me against my will. I can't break free, it is no use. Can't stop Unintended self abuse. Abolish me, break my heart, tear my soul. Abolish me in this beautiful nowhere, just wanna die in your arms tonight. Make my dreams come true, so i have a reason to wake.
Favorite Band: The Birthday Massacre
Favorite Quote:I'm trying to eat, could you please stop pooping - Devi
Best Friends: I'm now accepting applications
Sex: was very good
Pets:Auryn my snake, Oz the cat, and Freckles aka Mr. Eff the cocker Spaniel
Located: Wonderland
Mood: forever in a state of Insanity

Loves: Chibi, Alice in wonderland,Jhonen Vasquez (he is God) and everything hes ever done, edward scissorhands, HP, LOTR, The Birthday Massacre, reading, drawing, writing,and talking on the phone, and killing people who make me sad with large rusty hooks....oh wait i probably shouldnt have said that one....
Hates: people who ditch their best friend of three years for no reason. stupid whores, and stupid guys who cheat on their caring loving girl friends, and stupid guys who cheat on their caring loving girlfriends with stupid whores in portapotties, cows....moo..., people who think their too good to hang out with people at school who they hang out with out of school, posers, lies, people, dogs ( oh wait mostly the same thing), and people who use others lying to get their way.
About the Piggy's and the Squirrels: Squirrels stole my acorns and chase me down the road. I misses my piggy....WHY MY PIGGY I LUVEDED YOU PIGGY I LUVEDED YOUU!!!!
About the Cupcake:What is better than a mini cake? really? im serious??? ANSWER ME!!!
About the Tuna: Tuna goooodddd......it comes in a can....mmmm....tuna..
THE BIRTHDAY MASSACRE